Tuesday, November 6, 2012

I Fucking Hate Sweatpants

Some of you may know me, either in real life or online, and may know that I fucking hate sweatpants.  Sweatpants are the fugliest thing a person can possibly put in their body.  I'd rather you wear a spangly light-up sweater vest than sweatpants, because then you'd at least be humorous. 

I could make fun of you in this
Sweatpants are especially bad if they're elasticized at the bottom.  These remind me of gym class, and there's nothing good about gym class.
Not attractive.


Sometimes they have writing on the butt.  This is not okay.  Sweatpants make your ass look HORRIBLE.  Why would you want to draw attention to that??
Men are not looking at this thinking "yes, hot butts!"  They're shuddering.  Violently.

Even celebrities don't look good in sweatpants, and yet they continue to leave the house looking like hobos despite the fact that we all know they can afford designer clothes.
I don't know who any of these women are, but apparently they're famous.
To be totally honest, I don't even think sweatpants should be worn at at home in private, let alone at the gym where other people can see you.  But every day I see people out and about, wearing sweatpants to the store, dropping off their kids at school or standing in line at the bank.  You don't look good, you're just being a lazy ass.  Put some real pants on.  I'm a mom of three with a husband who is gone a lot for work (read, I don't have a lot of help) and I still manage to put on PANTS every day.  It's just as easy as pulling up sweatpants but you don't look like a sloppy fuck at the end.  You're welcome.

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